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'Well, to begin with, you're going to have to get this fellow a bigger dog house.'

'He likes your aftershave lotion.'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Counting ribs

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"My compliments to Mummy!"

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

"Oh, aye - he's never slow at stepping up to the plate."

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"He must have picked that up at the kennel."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

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Pets on holiday.

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

'This English Setter, Irish Wolfhound and Scotch Terrier, go into a bar...'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

Vlad the Impaler - The Later Years.

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

"He's looking for the next big leftovers holiday."

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

'My favorite kitchen tool will always be the old fashioned fork moving automatically to my mouth!'

Children.

"We're now officially not welcome here."