Keeping Fish Pillows

"She's addicted to televangelists."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"She's just being Koi."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

Leak in the fish tank.

"I don't do windows."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'First he warms our bowl, now he's feeding us... And you thought he wasn't friendly.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'I wish I was creative'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Cat eats date.

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'