Pet Fish Keeping Pillows

He had the idea after visiting the aquarium.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"She's just being Koi."

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Leak in the fish tank.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'Twitter for goldfish.'

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'