Pet Fish Keeping Pillows

He had the idea after visiting the aquarium.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"She's just being Koi."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Leak in the fish tank.

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

'I wish I was creative'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'