Keeping Fish T-Shirts

"She's addicted to televangelists."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"She's just being Koi."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"I don't do windows."

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

Leak in the fish tank.

'First he warms our bowl, now he's feeding us... And you thought he wasn't friendly.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Cat eats date.

'I wish I was creative'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'