Karma Commentator Gifts

Rand Paul

reincarnated worm...

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Occupant.

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

'I've figured out why bad things happen to good people.'

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Under our new definition of 'what is a sale?', he hasn't made any this year."

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

The United States of Amazement

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"