Ai Commentator Gifts

'How could you replace me with a robot that only types 5 words a minute?'

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

How logos change over time.

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

Sports Radio in Crisis

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

The United States of Amazement

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"