Ai Commentator Gifts

'How could you replace me with a robot that only types 5 words a minute?'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

How logos change over time.

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

Sports Radio in Crisis

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Facelook

Sir Patrick Moore.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Tree of Public Opinion.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

And now, for a rebuttal.

Pundits

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

The United States of Amazement