Ai Critic Gifts

In their secret campaign to enslave humanity, the machines make their first big misstep with Artificial Sincerity.

"We all agree it's a great resume, but I'm afraid our computer doesn't like you!"

Introducing...The Smart-Ass Phone

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'The Football pools aren't fun anymore - the computer wins everytime.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Stevens isn't artificial or intelligent."

"Welcome to the future"

You're my Mona Lisa.

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Crap from the future.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'Projectile painting.'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'