Ai Humor Gifts

"....And when we retire at night, she suddenly develops a critical head dysfunction!"

"Talk nerdy to me."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Do me next."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Snowmobull

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Of Mice and Men.

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Honk if you love me!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"You're famous, Angus."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"I hate it..."

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'