Technology Humorous Gifts

"My goal is to die before there's a technology breakthrough that forces me to live to a hundred and thirty."

"Talk nerdy to me."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Screen Time vs Book Time

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Darn autocorrect!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Chef copy robot

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."