Avian Humor Lover Gifts

"Well, do you have anything that's been regurgitated?"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Look! No hands!"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

bird interprets modern art

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Bird Torture.

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'I think he's lonely.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."