Avian Humorists Gifts

'I'm sorry Adam, but you're ugly... I mean we all are, but especially you.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Flight simulator'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'YAY! PATE!'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Leopards do change their spots

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

Cow Pilot.

Man trying to take pictures of wild birds at feeder.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

'How come there are no DOG BURGLARS?'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"He does impressions too!"

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

Possum bungee jumping from branch with bungee tail.

Santa Enjoys Venison.

'I'm afraid it's going to make us a laughing stock, dear!'

"I've never trusted cows."

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."