Avian Humorists Gifts

'I'm sorry Adam, but you're ugly... I mean we all are, but especially you.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Flight simulator'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"Word has it Earthlings have been using some of our people for cruel scientific experiments."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'YAY! PATE!'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man trying to take pictures of wild birds at feeder.

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

Cow Pilot.

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

Leopards do change their spots

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

I'm not saying he's dumb, but talking to him is like talking to a firewall.

'I'm afraid it's going to make us a laughing stock, dear!'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"He does impressions too!"

Santa Enjoys Venison.

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

'How come there are no DOG BURGLARS?'

Possum bungee jumping from branch with bungee tail.

"I've never trusted cows."

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."