Kamut Connoisseur Gifts

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

"You know damn well what noise!"

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Pizza and Related Searches.

Behind the cow is a manure castle. 'Yeah...It's a gift.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Hair loss comb.

Anthony Kennedy

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."

"One coffee and 12 creams."

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

Your big moment on Altra Gameshow

Donut Eating Contest

'I'm a stay-at-home teleradiologist.'

'This anti-ageing cream is well past it's sell-by date!'

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"Roll in the garbage and hop up on the sofa. Someone will be with you shortly."

'When does salmon season start?!'

'The danger of similar packaging.'