Kale Avoider Gifts

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"I'm staying healthy during lock-down by increasing my consumption of kale. . .the 'K' is silent."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'What are you eating now?'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Needs more kale.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

"I do diet...between snacks."

How Kale Took Over the World

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

Sitting Out the Lambada

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

'It doesn't matter, Mr. Katz — you're overweight standard or metric.'

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"But this is the way we've always done it."

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

Eric didn't know it yet, but he was about to fall in love with creamed kale.

"I workout so I don't have to eat kale."

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

'I hate snakes.'

'Are you kidding??'

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"