Mall Avoider Gifts

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'I'm going to need backup on two. 'The situation' is escalating.'

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

Worm running away from hook.

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'