Mall Avoider Gifts

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

Worm running away from hook.

'I'm going to need backup on two. 'The situation' is escalating.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"I can't believe we're doing this."

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."