Manual Avoiders Gifts

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

Big bumpers.

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

D.I.Y ladder

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

Danger Signs.

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

Worm running away from hook.

'Why can't you do that while I'm on the golf course?'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

"This? Oh it's to catch cyclists who ride on the pavement."

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

"Oh, year...ice!"

"Guess who I bumped into in the car park. Your boss."

Just so you know, Bob, I don't date guys who play games. Sooo, the ball's in my court

'Forget the sunscreen on your camping trip, did you?'