Manual Avoiders Gifts

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

Big bumpers.

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

D.I.Y ladder

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

Danger Signs.

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'Why can't you do that while I'm on the golf course?'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

Worm running away from hook.

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

"This? Oh it's to catch cyclists who ride on the pavement."

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

'Forget the sunscreen on your camping trip, did you?'

"I'm just trying to get through the rest of my life without buying another umbrella."

Dilemma of a man with no mechanical skills (Mail order bride requires some assembling).

"Oh, year...ice!"