Change Avoider Gifts

"But this is the way we've always done it."

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

Sawdust.

"Frank's always been afraid of change."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

Big bumpers.

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

D.I.Y ladder

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

'Johnny Wilmot experiences the Grand Canyon'

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'