Additive Avoider Gifts

Sawdust.

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

Dream Advertisements.

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

An agony of aunts

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

The dog that does the homework...