Number Avoider Gifts

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

'Maths is fun!'

"Tarzan no want computer."

Sawdust.

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

The Procrastinatorium.

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"I only wish this was the final notice."

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

The dog that does the homework...

'My husband will be a little late getting to the office, but he's on his way.'

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'