Math Avoider Gifts

'I like unfunded mandates best - you don't have to worry about the math.'

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

"I'm not going to count my blessings on Thanksgiving. I don't do math on holidays."

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

The dog that does the homework...

'When it's summer I won't have to do math.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Sawdust.

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"I virtually finished my homework."

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

The Procrastinatorium.

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'It's 42 degrees outside, Eddie. Do you still think global warming burned up your homework?'

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"No, you can't hire a temp to do your homework."