Problem-solving Avoider Gifts

The Ostrich Syndrome: 'Who gets the check?'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

Serious Putty

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

"I virtually finished my homework."

The Procrastinatorium.

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.