Decision Avoider Gifts

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Harrison will make the hard decisions and Dunwoody will rationalize them.'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

The Procrastinatorium.

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

Question man

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

An agony of aunts

"But this is the way we've always done it."

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

'Thurlow, the difference between you and me is that I was smart enough not to take my own advice.'

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

"I don't like all the responsibility that comes with my new pompousness."

'Vice is one thing but advice is far worse!'

'My job is to make decisions. Your job is to make them good decisions.'

It's not that Ned is superstitious...but rather, he doesn't take unnecessary risks!

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

The Ostrich Syndrome: 'Who gets the check?'

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

'We're wavering between 'undecided' and 'no opinion.'

"Oh, no! People are coming to sit near us! Put up the banner!"

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.