Accident Avoiders Gifts

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

The hall of bad ideas.

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Big bumpers.

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

D.I.Y ladder

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

Danger Signs.

'Watch out, you'll get tennis elbow.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

Live To Crash, Crash To Live.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

'Johnny Wilmot experiences the Grand Canyon'

'He's accident prone... he just poked himself in the eye with his safety-glasses!'

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

'For heaven's sake! We're only going to the caravan for a week!'

We'd like a very public table where she won't break up with me because she's afraid I'll make a scene. Menu. ? ?

Rental Car Return. By the way, the airbags worked great!

"Looks like a case of Death by Missed Adventure."

"This? Oh it's to catch cyclists who ride on the pavement."

Black belts in the ancient art of avoidance