Accident Avoider Gifts

D.I.Y ladder

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

"Guess who I bumped into in the car park. Your boss."

'Can we avoid going through the insurance company.'

Big bumpers.

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Oh, year...ice!"

"This? Oh it's to catch cyclists who ride on the pavement."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Good News about winter

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

The hall of bad ideas.

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

Danger Signs.

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'Watch out, you'll get tennis elbow.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"But this is the way we've always done it."

'Johnny Wilmot experiences the Grand Canyon'