Avoidance Expert Gifts

Black belts in the ancient art of avoidance

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Good News about winter

"Right...you're all in detention until we find out who put the chameleon on the tartan rug!"

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

Pizza time.

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

"We've had to introduce measures lately to stop the entomology department from knocking off early on a Friday."

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

"I know you hate these parties. Just do your best to blend in."

Big bumpers.

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

Kid's Driving You Crazy?

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

D.I.Y ladder

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

Danger Signs.

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Trust me, he knows how they think."

'He was right at his desk a moment ago.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

Dromedary spy.

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."