Justice Challenger Gifts

If they sentence me, I'll simply pay to refurbish the penitentiary. It will be my own little six star hotel!

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Human rights

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Mou...Man trap!

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Choice hellhole

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"I'm looking for loopholes."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Confusionism'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'This is a coffee break, Caldwell -- Get rid of that damn teapot!'

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

Law 'N' Order