Ethical Challenger Gifts

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Slavery Reparations

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'Way too much information on your resume.'

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Arms Industry increases sales by 8.5%

"It's not easy being green…"

"I don't always fart when your friends are over. But when I do, I make sure I sneak out so they think it's you."

Rupert Murdoch in the mud.

Cleaning Out the WildLife for New Residential Construction.

Voting Difficulties

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

Bees full of righteous indignation swarm the honey company's executive suite.

Labor abuse

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'This is outrageous! I could go to prison for sending miners into an unsafe mine!'

'Everything must go...manners included!'

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

"Pudits tell me what to think. TV tells me what to watch. Ads tell me what to buy. You really care about my opinion?"

"£100 spot fine...er, because we don't like your face."

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

You gave performance enhancing drugs to the girls on the Team Caffeine Hoops Squad?! Mumble. How could you do that? How could you use artificial substances to make them stronger, faster and better athletes? How could you not give me any of the juice? And thus, driven by competitive zeal, society spun out of control. P.S. - To be continued. Next week: A shocking secret!

'I know right from wrong and that's been holding me back.'