Conviction Challenger Gifts

The Skeptics' Association.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Alternative Medicine

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

Freedom of Speech

"I'm looking for loopholes."

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Confusionism'

'This is a coffee break, Caldwell -- Get rid of that damn teapot!'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

Voting Difficulties

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

When a nanosecond is forever.

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"I believe it because I believe it and that's how I know it's true."

If they sentence me, I'll simply pay to refurbish the penitentiary. It will be my own little six star hotel!

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

The Power of the Pen

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

Adult attention deficit disorders (A.A.D.D.)

"What God has joined together let no man put asunder."

"£100 spot fine...er, because we don't like your face."

Do not abuse the Lawn

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

'Excuse me, ma'am. Pets aren't allowed in the store.'

Warning.