Conspiracy Challenger Gifts

Alternative Medicine

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

Do not think outside the box!

Freedom of Speech

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

Voting Difficulties

When a nanosecond is forever.

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"I don't care what other kittens say about black cats, the person who adopts you will be very lucky."

The Power of the Pen

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

"What God has joined together let no man put asunder."

Adult attention deficit disorders (A.A.D.D.)

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

'No, man, I don't know where you're coming from. But if I had to guess, I'd say the early Seventies.'

"Excuse me, but where exactly are we being led?"

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

'Non confromists society annual dinner' "You can't come in mate...Its formal dress"

"Relax, dear. I'm sure all lunatic fringe conspiracy theorists occasionally suffer from writer's block."

"O.K., leave me, but just remember, if you do I'm coming with you."

"I'm not sure I can make it next week."

He used to do his own thing. Now they expect him to do someone else's thing.

"I am my own penguin"

Banned!