Jury Duty Escapist Gifts

"Your Honor, we, the jury, find this one too close to call."

City Court House. I found throwing yourself on the mercy of the court doesn't get you out of jury duty!

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"#notguilty."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

' Well..She did it to me again.'

'Yes, I can defend you, but we may have a tough time selecting a jury of your peers.'

"They're eating out of my hand but that doesn't guarantee an acquittal."

"Want to get out of this dump and go watch television forever?"

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"Not again!"

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

Dangerous tax audits.

'Ejection, your Honor!!'

'No, your Honor, we've not reached a verdict, but we did vote out Juror number 5.'

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

'By sequestered', does that mean we're going to be locked up before the defendant is...?'

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

'I've had it with this job, I want to be a LUMBERJACK!!'

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'Let me inform the witness that 'horse-feathers' is not a proper response!'

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

'I love being a rich executive so please don't let me get so bad that I won't be suspended with pay.'

"I won't be in today - I'm too happy!"