Jury Duty Survivor Gifts

"And, what's more, the jury was packed with ungulates."

"Your Honor, on the first ballot the jury voted ten to two for conviction. For three emotionally charged hours, we discussed our points of difference. On the next ballot, it was seven to five for acquittal. Over the next several ballots, the vote seesawed back and forth. One juror became ill and was replaced by an alternate. By now, we had been in session for ten hours straight. Tempers were rising and some jurors were near the breaking point."

'No, your Honor, we've not reached a verdict, but we did vote out Juror number 5.'

'By sequestered', does that mean we're going to be locked up before the defendant is...?'

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"We've reached a decision...we want 5 caffe lattes, 2 caffe americanos, 3 white chocolate mochas, and 2 caramel macchiatos."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Sporting maladies.

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury