Jury Duty Enthusiast Gifts

"In my book, I'm innocent. Here, I'm pleading no contest."

'Let me inform the witness that 'horse-feathers' is not a proper response!'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

Boy in court swearing oath on comic book

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

"We find the defendant guilty because he doth protest too much."

'The jury have instructed me to say that they expected a rather more spicy case.'

"take your best shot, counselor."

A judge, the lawyers for the prosecution and defense, the accused and the jury stand in front of a packed courtroom and bow while holding hands like they are finishing a performance.