Jury Duty Enthusiast Gifts

"In my book, I'm innocent. Here, I'm pleading no contest."

'Let me inform the witness that 'horse-feathers' is not a proper response!'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

Boy in court swearing oath on comic book

"We find the defendant guilty because he doth protest too much."

'The jury have instructed me to say that they expected a rather more spicy case.'

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

"take your best shot, counselor."