Jury Duty Aficionado Gifts

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'I'd better start on your appeal.'