Jury Duty Escapist Pillows

"Your Honor, we, the jury, find this one too close to call."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"#notguilty."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

' Well..She did it to me again.'

'Yes, I can defend you, but we may have a tough time selecting a jury of your peers.'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."

"Not again!"

"Want to get out of this dump and go watch television forever?"

"They're eating out of my hand but that doesn't guarantee an acquittal."

'By sequestered', does that mean we're going to be locked up before the defendant is...?'

'No, your Honor, we've not reached a verdict, but we did vote out Juror number 5.'

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

'Ejection, your Honor!!'

Dangerous tax audits.

Message in a bottle.

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'I've had it with this job, I want to be a LUMBERJACK!!'

Virtual Reality Check

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'I love being a rich executive so please don't let me get so bad that I won't be suspended with pay.'

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

'Let me inform the witness that 'horse-feathers' is not a proper response!'