Yard Duty Escapist Gifts

"Ooooohhhh, that feels so good. Now, down and a little to the right, please."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

Ice fisher.

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Crowded Ice Fishing

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

Clock watcher

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."