Jury Charmer Gifts

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

This is my story and I'm stickin with it!

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

"We find the defendant guilty because he doth protest too much."

'The jury have instructed me to say that they expected a rather more spicy case.'

Boy in court swearing oath on comic book

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

A judge, the lawyers for the prosecution and defense, the accused and the jury stand in front of a packed courtroom and bow while holding hands like they are finishing a performance.

". . . and that's the story of why you should find this defendant. . . GUILTY!"

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'