Jurors Pillows

'How come you lock up the jury overnight, and send the prisoner home?'

Trial by Media

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Barristers

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Now that's a win."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"You call this a constitution?"

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."