Conjuror Pillows

'That's my trick knee.'

Rabbit pulled from top hat carries 'Stop animal cruelty' banner

Lost rabbit.

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"We the jury find that the murder was committed by Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick!"

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."