Jovial Juror Pillows

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"