Jovial Juror Pillows

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy