Conjuror Gifts

Rabbit pulled from top hat carries 'Stop animal cruelty' banner

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."