Jurassic Gym Junkie Gifts

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"Don't move! It's as I suspected, they're attracted to clowns!"

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

'Ready Mum?'

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Office Park

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

Health

'Will I still be married?'

Spider's Web Trampoline

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

Apocalliptical

Ants stealing from the picnic.

Let's work those arms -- newspaper, Blackberry...

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"It must be still charging."

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

"You're in extreme danger because you eat too much/eat too much fat/don't exercise/worrying about these things will kill you."

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

'I exercise to stay healthy so I can keep working to pay for health insurance until I drop dead.'

'... And this is the home gym, where we hang all our clothes.'

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."