Junkyard Junkie Gifts

Magnetic North

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Homo Gamus

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Nutrition-Free Diet

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

The birth of junk mail.

'George always was a hog for fast food.'

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

'At least he's honest.'

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

"Here, son, don't forget your glass of fizzy."

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

Dad's Dinner: The Best in Frozen Foods.

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

Pizza-Matic

Couch potato.

Junk Science. (Scientist sits in lawn chair just outside of junk yard.)