Junkyard Junkie Gifts

Magnetic North

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Homo Gamus

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Nutrition-Free Diet

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

The birth of junk mail.

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

'At least he's honest.'

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

'George always was a hog for fast food.'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

Couch potato.

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

Dad's Dinner: The Best in Frozen Foods.

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

Pizza-Matic