Junkyard Comedian Gifts

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Police Cow!

Moo! OOM!

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Your barn door's open.'

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

"We need less cowbell!"

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'Is it slop yet?'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

'A Cow with REALLY bad breath'.

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

Cow chewing bubble gum.

Magnetic North