Junkyard Aficionado Gifts

"Deals in junk....talks a load of rubbish."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

Junk Science. (Scientist sits in lawn chair just outside of junk yard.)

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the Antiques Roadshow

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

Garage Sales Anonymous

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

"Coool! How much for the bean bag chair?"

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

"You spelled 'garbage' wrong"

Frank, check out this rug I go at a yard sale. Interesting. I think I'll put it over here. Whoa! Ernie! This is a magic carpet! Let's take it for a spin! This is awesome! We won't need gas! We won't need charging stations! We won't need anything! WHAP! SPLORT! SMACK! Maybe we need a windshield! Still bugs to work out!

"It's found crap."

Manifold Destiny

"Someday, Son, this unnecessary and outdated stuff will all be yours."

'I know you've heard about how we roosters get around, but believe me, I'm a one-chicken guy.'

Magnetic North

Welcome to the Museum of One's Kitchen

Throwing away your brain

Al's Junkfood Restaurant next to Al's Junkyard.

Junk food next to junk yard.

'Can you prove that was under your granny's sideboard?'

"Maybe I should've picked up that ice cube maker."

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

'My car! My car!'

Garage Sales

'How much for your wife?'

Al's Computer Salvage.

'I have a metal plate in my head, a tin ear and brass balls...direct me to a junk yard.'

"There is nothing of value here."

"It's Joe's junk yard. He wants to buy some air time on the trashiest show we've got."