Junior Consumer Analyst Gifts

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

"Everything's gone up."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'It's about time!'

Tim's marketing solutions

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

The Bargain Brand

'In the commercials, they run over to it and wag their tails.'

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

'There's nothing good to eat!'

'Remember young brave to always face evil without fear...To have our tribe on foam and underwear!'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

"The sign does not specifically say, 'these' hot dogs."

"Honest, J.B., I don't think that little girl's lemonade stand on Cerritos Street will hurt our business!"

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"Any one of these will make the company even richer."

Heart vending machine.

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

Man is target

The Sponsored Skier

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

"We were thinking, J.W., just off the top of our heads, of course—why not make the stuff addictive?"

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'

'Remember, you're NEVER a stranger in this store because we've got LOADS of shopping data on you!'

"It reminds me of the very first ad that ever swayed me into buying something I didn't really want."