Consumer Society Analyst Gifts

"Hi there, Consumer 275/B. I am your personal surveillance satellite - here for your safety and security. . . What can I do for you today. . ?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Before the riots/after the riots

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

World Financial Mafia

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

What sort of society would we have if everybody put public interest ahead of government interest?

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

The economy doctor

'It's your debt to society.'

"In the old days people with small dicks needed big cars. Today they write hate comments against Greta Thunberg."

Violence in Mexico

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

'This is you hotel. . . it has no TV, but every room is equipped with CCTV.'

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

"Any one of these will make the company even richer."

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

'See? THAT'S globalization!'

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

"Once upon a time there was a thing called social security..."

Man is target

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