Community Analyst Gifts

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

Sign Reform

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

'Right...so that's pages 1-6 on 'teenage thus run rampage', 7-9 on 'man sued £25,000 for cleaning neighbours path', the middle spread on...'

Progress.

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

Never on Sunday

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

'Who did you vote against in the last election?'

Garage sale.

"Our state made the list for being on the most lists."

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

The Neighborhood at a Glance

"Local shopping, local eating, and...I married the girl next door."

'Sorry, I don't have anything smaller.'

'Does that mean things are getting better or worse?'

'Ever stop to consider we live in a gated community?'

"Once upon a time there was a thing called social security..."

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

Empty shops.

'That's Burt. Some developer made him an offer for his park bench he couldn't refuse.'

We're supposed to write a paper on American values. Which ones? Tree's Trees. I'm not sure. Any suggestions? Two for one! Today! Look around! All U Can Eat Buffet. Val-U Meals. Biggest Best. #1.

City Council: 'It's a sweet deal- we permit their mall, and they build our new high school within!'