Consumer Analysis Gifts

Man is target

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

The economy doctor

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

"We can't make the perfect product, but with a little luck and a lotta data, we can make the perfect customer."

"Which free tote goes best?"

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

"Now that we know what the consumers want, it's our job to make them think that we have it."

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

'Don't say I didn't warn you. The rising tide of consumer indifference is finally catching up with us.'

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"Any one of these will make the company even richer."

"Give me insights on marketing to your age demographic...and I'll give you a bright shiny penny."

"I need one of them and one of them..."

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

The competition's customer vs our customer.