Critique Consumer Gifts

Suggestions Box

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Made in China

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"Do you have pants in XL?"

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Payback Time

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

The economy doctor

Privacy Stops Where the Parking Lot Begins

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Too Much Plastic.

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

desert isle shopping trolley...

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"It's just not the same."

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."