Junior Consumer Analyst Mugs

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

"Everything's gone up."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

Tim's marketing solutions

'It's about time!'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

The Bargain Brand

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

'In the commercials, they run over to it and wag their tails.'

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

'There's nothing good to eat!'

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

"The sign does not specifically say, 'these' hot dogs."

"Honest, J.B., I don't think that little girl's lemonade stand on Cerritos Street will hurt our business!"

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"Any one of these will make the company even richer."

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

Heart vending machine.

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

Man is target

The Sponsored Skier

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

"We were thinking, J.W., just off the top of our heads, of course—why not make the stuff addictive?"

"I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest." "Very good, little buddy." "I see you've read chapter 7 of 'Randy "the Rock" Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect'." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." "I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper." "I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed."

Nothing Personal: Gifts for your business adversaries.

"It reminds me of the very first ad that ever swayed me into buying something I didn't really want."

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"