Junior Marketer Gifts

Tim's marketing solutions

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Dressed for Success!

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Creative department

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Parade of Businessmen

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Important Food Groups

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'We've re-branded.'

Target your customer.

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'